Congratulations Penis Haiku Winners!

jeudi 17 décembre 2009

Cock-a-doodle-do. At long last, my Penis Haiku Contest Winners have been chosen! I am so proud of my five winners, whose 5-7-5 odes to Ol' One-Eye were our judges' favorites and would have made Matsuo Basho proud. Our judges were Emily McCombs, resident chick editor at Asylum.com; novelist Chad Kultgen (The Average American Male & The Lie); and The Handsome Steve Sobel.

Winners will receive a signed copy of my book and a li'l toy surprise for their impressive stabs at this. Thanks to all who entered, and to our judges for their wit and discernment. Happy holidays, and as they say in Japan, Tento-wo-haru! ("Make his penis hard and lift up his pants like a tent!")

Dylan Betman of Jersey City, NJ

At my computer
Playing with the meat whistle
Oh no my keyboard!

Chris Caylor of Pullman, WA

Constant wax and wane
Trouble making up his mind
Is she hot or not?

Matt Adams of Washington, D.C.

So long is my trunk
Pants with third leg hole I need
And shoe for the tip.

Xavier Holland of New York City

I am no farm boy
Still, I wake up every morn
With a rising cock.

Melissa of Still-Hasn't-Gotten-Back-to-Me-Yet

Quickly pumping in
Don't think that you can fool me
No back door for you!