“Year of the Cock” Penis Haiku (“Phaiku”) Contest & Book Giveaway!
dimanche 23 août 2009
Cock-a-doodle-do. So... I have like three boxes of copies of my book, and I’ve been wondering how to get rid of ‘em, because nothing annoys me more at this point than the sight of my own book, which is a terrible and glaringly false attempt at modesty on my part, for which I apologize, sort of.
I pondered selling them on Half.com, which struck me as a deeply humiliating exercise, the contents of my memoir having embarrassed me enough. Or donating them to a library, but FUCK people who wanna read my shit for free. Or creating a big fake Christmas display with them at the local Barnes & Noble, to create the illusion of runaway-bestseller-status...
And then it came to me: Why don’t I give them away to you, my fans and haters, as a reward for writing an awesome Penis Haiku, or Phaiku?
Remember haikus? It’s probably been a long while since you’ve composed one, so I’ll remind you. It’s a Japanese poetic form consisting of 17 moras or syllables in three metrical lines of 5, 7, and 5 moras respectively. I’ve taken a stab at a penis-themed one to give you an example to follow...
It wakes hard as birch
A schooner’s mast soaring high
Time to spank one out
Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it...
Okay, so... here are the rules. Please submit your phaikus to me by email at anneeducoq@hotmail.com or by Facebook message (Alan Wieder) NO LATER than November 15, 2009. I will then review all the submissions, choose the five cleverest, and award each of the poets with a FREE, SIGNED & PERSONALLY INSCRIBED FIRST EDITION of my book, along with a TOY SURPRISE!
I’ll then publish the winners’ phaikus here... on the one and only... www.alanwieder.com.
Thank you for participating and best of luck!
a.w.
Cock-a-doodle-do. So... I have like three boxes of copies of my book, and I’ve been wondering how to get rid of ‘em, because nothing annoys me more at this point than the sight of my own book, which is a terrible and glaringly false attempt at modesty on my part, for which I apologize, sort of.
I pondered selling them on Half.com, which struck me as a deeply humiliating exercise, the contents of my memoir having embarrassed me enough. Or donating them to a library, but FUCK people who wanna read my shit for free. Or creating a big fake Christmas display with them at the local Barnes & Noble, to create the illusion of runaway-bestseller-status...
And then it came to me: Why don’t I give them away to you, my fans and haters, as a reward for writing an awesome Penis Haiku, or Phaiku?
Remember haikus? It’s probably been a long while since you’ve composed one, so I’ll remind you. It’s a Japanese poetic form consisting of 17 moras or syllables in three metrical lines of 5, 7, and 5 moras respectively. I’ve taken a stab at a penis-themed one to give you an example to follow...
A schooner’s mast soaring high
Time to spank one out
Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it...
Okay, so... here are the rules. Please submit your phaikus to me by email at anneeducoq@hotmail.com or by Facebook message (Alan Wieder) NO LATER than November 15, 2009. I will then review all the submissions, choose the five cleverest, and award each of the poets with a FREE, SIGNED & PERSONALLY INSCRIBED FIRST EDITION of my book, along with a TOY SURPRISE!
I’ll then publish the winners’ phaikus here... on the one and only... www.alanwieder.com.
Thank you for participating and best of luck!
a.w.
Comment
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Comment by di g on September 24, 2009 at 11:43am - Eloquence is not one of your stronger points lol !
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